When Sophie first came to coaching, she was frustrated. She had clear goals: step into leadership, get her team working well together, deliver results. But after three months, she felt stuck. Her coach was encouraging her to “be more structured, plan tighter, keep control.” Sophie tried, but each attempt left her drained and less motivated.
The truth? Sophie loves flexibility. She is creative, spontaneous, and gets energy from bouncing ideas off others. Structure felt like a cage. She wasn’t resisting growth, she was resisting a style that clashed with her natural way of working.
Then came the turning point. Sophie completed a Facet5 profile. Suddenly, things clicked. She saw her natural preferences laid out in front of her – her drive for ideas, her love of working with others, her tendency to avoid too much routine. That moment wasn’t about putting her in a box. It was an “aha”: So that’s why I feel flat when I try to do it that way.
From there, coaching shifted. Instead of rigid systems, her coach built on Sophie’s strengths: idea-sharing rituals with her team, flexible planning blocks, and accountability partners rather than solitary checklists. The challenge was still there, but it fit. Sophie started to lead in a way that felt true to her.
That is the power of weaving personality into coaching.
- Self-awareness that feels real
- Coaching that fits the person, not forces them
- Change that lasts because it feels natural
- Trust that grows because people feel genuinely understood
It is not always instant. Growth based on personality takes time, reflection, and a bit of patience. But when coaching meets the core of who someone is, the change does not just happen quicker, it lasts longer.
So if you are coaching, or being coached, ask yourself: Are we working with personality, or fighting against it?
Because when personality sits at the heart of coaching, the conversation shifts from “What should I do?” to “How can I grow in a way that feels real for me?”
Why Personality Insight Matters in Coaching
Sophie’s story isn’t unique. Coaching often starts with goals: performance, outcomes, behaviours. But to truly unlock growth, we need to go deeper – into who the person is.
That’s where personality insight comes in. Not as a shortcut, but as a compass.
So, what do we mean by “personality”?
We’re not talking about moods or temporary behaviours. We’re talking about enduring traits – the stable preferences that shape how someone thinks, communicates, makes decisions, and relates to others.
Tools like Facet5 help bring this to life through five core factors and thirteen sub-factors. These aren’t boxes to squeeze people into – they’re spectrums. And that’s crucial. People aren’t types; they’re patterns. Complex, flexible, and evolving.
Four Big Shifts When Coaching Meets Personality
1. Self-awareness that feels real
Seeing your own personality laid out (strengths, blind spots, preferences) can spark powerful insight. Clients often say, “This explains so much.” They don’t just understand what they do, but why. That deeper self-awareness becomes the foundation for intentional growth.
2. Coaching that fits, not forces
When coaching aligns with someone’s natural style, it becomes empowering instead of exhausting. You’re not making the journey easier by removing challenge – you’re making it possible by matching challenge with how someone can engage authentically.
3. Sustainable change
Quick fixes fade. But when people grow in ways that reflect who they are, the change sticks. They’re not constantly pushing against the grain. Instead, they’re building habits that feel natural—so they’re more likely to keep going when things get hard.
4. Authentic trust and connection
Great coaching isn’t just about technique—it’s about relationship. Personality insight deepens that connection. It gives coach and coachee a language to talk about what works, what doesn’t, and what feels safe or motivating. And when someone feels deeply seen, trust follows.
Watch-Outs for Coaches
- Don’t lean too heavily on the profile. A personality report is a map, not the territory. It’s a conversation starter – not the final word.
- Context matters. Traits tell us what’s likely, not what’s inevitable. Culture, stress, life stage – all these influence behaviour.
- Avoid labels. High Emotionality doesn’t mean someone is “fragile.” Low Affection doesn’t mean they’re “cold.” Keep curiosity alive.
- Be patient with change. Growth rooted in personality takes time. It unfolds through reflection, iteration, and sometimes, setbacks.
Bringing Personality into Coaching – Practically
So how do you do it well? Here are a few ways to start:
- Unpack the profile together. Ask what resonates. What surprises them? What feels empowering? What feels like a stretch?
- Shape goals around traits. For example, someone high in Will but lower in Affection may benefit from goals that balance assertiveness with listening. Someone high in Emotionality may need to weave in resilience strategies.
- Reflect between sessions. Use tools like myFacet5 to help clients notice when they’re in flow – or out of it.
- Adapt your coaching style. If you’re highly structured, try loosening the agenda with some clients. If you’re highly relational, make sure you still challenge where needed.
- Revisit regularly. Personality is stable, but context isn’t. New roles, life events, or shifting pressures can all impact how traits show up.
In Closing: From Transaction to Transformation
Putting personality at the heart of coaching isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s what makes coaching work.
It shifts the conversation from “What should I do?” to “How can I grow in a way that feels real to me?”
Whether you’re a coach or being coached, ask yourself: “Are we working with personality or fighting against it?”
Because when we stop trying to change people into something they’re not, and start helping them grow more deeply into who they already are, the results don’t just come faster.
They last longer.
