Every coach has a style. Sometimes we discover it by accident; sometimes by design. But what if we explored our coaching style more intentionally – what we lean into by default, what we enjoy, what drains us, where we resist?
Understanding your coaching style, where your strengths may overplay and where you can flex starts a journey of clearer impact, more resilience, and more joy in the work.
What Is coaching style, really?
“Style” isn’t just about coaching technique. It’s shaped by deep rooted traits: how you behave under stress, how you prefer structure, how relational you are, how comfortable you are with giving feedback, risk, confrontation. Your personality traits influence your coaching presence, your rhythm, how you show up.
Your style includes:
- What you enjoy in a coaching session – structure vs spontaneity; outcomes vs process; direct vs relational approach.
- What feels easier or more natural vs what feels draining or effortful.
- How clients tend to respond to your style – what you are praised for, what tends to require adjustment.
Why understanding your style makes a BIG difference
When you lean into what comes easily, the work feels lighter, more genuine. If your Energy is high, you might bring enthusiasm and pace; if Affection is strong, you might bring warmth and relational depth. Recognising and owning these strengths gives you confidence and presence.
2. Recognising overplays and risk zones
Every strength has its shadow. Strong Will might become too forceful; high Control might morph into rigidity; high Emotionality could lead to over sensitivity under stress. Understanding how these can be overplayed allows us to anticipate and mitigate them. This isn’t about eliminating, but about using strengths wisely.
3. Flexing style to suit the client & situation
Not all clients respond to the same style. Some thrive with structure and clarity; others need space and exploratory pace. Knowing your default helps you decide when to lean in, when to stretch, when to shift gears. Flexibility increases both effectiveness and psychological safety.
4. Resilience & sustainable practice
Coaching can be emotionally demanding. If you’re always working in ways that go against your natural preferences – e.g. adopting a rigid structure if you’re more spontaneous; always relational if you need boundaries – you risk burnout. Knowing your style supports healthier boundaries, self care, and sustained energy.
Practical ways to explore your coaching style
Facilitated reflection: After sessions, take time to reflect:
- What felt energising?
- What felt draining?
- What parts felt aligned with how I like to work; where did I feel stretched or uncomfortable?
Use your Facet5 / Spotlight profile as mirror.
- Dive into the trait scores: which are high, which lower; which are sub factors that surprise you. Then map those to how you coach now.
Feedback cycles: Ask clients / peers:
- “What aspects of my coaching do you find most helpful?
- What aspects feel more difficult or less helpful?”
- Use that feedback to extend awareness.
Experimentation: Try tweaking a component of your style in a session: maybe more scaffolding (structure), or more silence, or more relational check ins. Notice what shifts in client engagement, outcomes, your own energy.
Peer observation & coaching community: Engaging with other coaches with different styles can help you see what different styles look like in practice – what’s effective, what feels resonant, what doesn’t. Communities like Thrive provide resources, networking forums, style guides and peer support.
Integrating personality to support your coaching style
- Facet5 SpotLight Report: Helps coaches see both strengths and risks in their style, and gives commentary on how to use or adjust.
- myCoaching Styles Guide (available via Thrive): offers a practical, personalised exploration of your approach to coaching, helping you deepen your self-awareness and strengthen your coaching capability in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.
- Learning Journal: Capture moments from coaching sessions: what you tried, what shifted, what you felt. Over time these patterns reveal where you are solid, where you tend to overplay, where you could flex.
- Community & resource hub: Use worksheets, prompts, toolkits to try new ways. Use peer learning to share what’s working (and what’s not).
Conclusion
Understanding your coaching style is not about building a rigid identity or hiding flexibility. It’s about getting to know the patterns that make your coaching uniquely yours – and then using those patterns with awareness. It’s about feeling more at ease, more effective, more sustainable in the work you love – enabling you, and your clients / coachees to thrive.
Lean into knowing yourself as a coach.
Celebrate your strengths.
Notice where your style overplays.
Practice flex.
. . . And through that, you’ll create space for coaching that resonates deeply with both you and those you serve.
